We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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