No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
