It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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