I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
