Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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