38 yer olds are good kisserssss
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
