and you said cock pushups were impossible
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She's the barista slut.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
