Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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