Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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