Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
