It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
