if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
