thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
