sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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