Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
