Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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