does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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