When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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