How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
