I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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