I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
honey bunches of taint.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
