Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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