I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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