It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
