that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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