guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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