He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
