Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
