She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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