Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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