I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize