Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
