You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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