at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
