When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize