so explain again why im purple
no
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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