Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize