You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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