I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
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Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
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We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize