He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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