i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
