Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Randomize
