hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Everything about him screamed your future.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
