If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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