I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
