it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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