It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Randomize
