I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
