my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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