I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
