I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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