Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My vagina just clenched in fear
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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