I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
