I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
