I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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