The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
do nipples grow back?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
