just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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