What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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