Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Randomize
