You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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