People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
