I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
