Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Is Oprah even human
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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