He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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