what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
