somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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