I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
