Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
