And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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