is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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