I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
My breasts were aching with rage.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
