i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
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I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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